How cuckoo is your time management? Here’s my mock nonfiction humor article in Defenestration. — Schools implement a dizzying assortment of district-mandated procedures for teachers and students: No Child Left Behind, 21st Century initiatives, and The Common Core. The latest rollout: The Tomato Method. How’s it going? Let’s find out. One inspired teacher, overwhelmed with work-life imbalance, instituted The Tomato Method not only in her…

What’s your traveling mistake? Here’s mine, in Random Sample Review — When asked about being an overseas volunteer — working for little pay and room and board in another country — people often make assumptions, saying things like, “Oh, you’re a giver!” or “You must be a good person.” Not exactly. Poverty, Inc. discusses the pros and cons of the “giving…

But it’s not the job you think — From Pink Panther Magazine, Volume 12, Number 2 pages 38–39. “Take one if you’re a wh- - -,” on a neon sign may have been a more subtle way to start the overseas volunteer orientation. We flew from all over America to Philadelphia the day before. Thirty bright-eyed and bleeding-heart…

We left, then returned, a cycle of reentry and failure. — Over ten years of my childhood, we moved eighteen times. Over two years as a teenager, our mom moved my twin sister and me nine times. Not to different countries or even across state lines and we’re not a military family. She sought independence but each launch prompted a return…

Communication for the spatially challenged. — “KEN, DON’T FORGET THE TOMATOES,” Nan crowed from the kitchen. Her wet head, still partially loaded with large pink curlers, hung over the kitchen sink while she rinsed out a self-perm. “FEEL THEM TO MAKE SURE THEY’RE RIPE. KEN.” Down the rickety steps, Pa fled for his chariot — the…

You should stop following. — People hatch similar ideas without contact in unison — simultaneous inventions, hive mind, collective consciousness, and zeitgeist. Moore’s Law explained how innovation builds over time and Lemley’s “The Myth of the Sole Inventor” considered creativity to exist atmospherically with availability to all. The phenomenon happens in every field. From artistic…

I wasn’t always afraid. — A rainbow of sunlight caught in the moist spider’s silk. Creatures vulnerable, mysterious, and ancient. Instead of protecting the arachnid’s fragile beauty, I cannot help myself. I wasn’t always afraid of spiders. But now, I panic and involuntarily scream with surprise, then kill them. …

After a lifetime of mistakes, I let my Magic Eight Ball (MEB) decide. For a week, I gave tricky choices and options to the great ball of destiny. Situation: The weather report lets me down. Forecast: Light showers. I could glance out my open window where a dreamcatcher is blowing…

Question: Tell us about a time when you were strategic in order to meet your top priorities. Specific situation: “Identified for my core competency, I was placed at the bottom of a human pyramid. When another clown said, ‘Pull my finger,’ a less empowered performer would have fallen for the…