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Passages
A tribute to help other parents and families feel less alone in their grief.
Content warning: Grief and loss (death of a child)
Two year olds often drag prized stories from bookshelves for family to read to them. I didn’t expect my toddler, Devin, to be able to pronounce and memorize words from his choice of a college-level biology textbook and Antoni Gaudí-1852–1926 A Life Devoted to Architecture.
When he read, “Mitochondria,” “Golgi apparatus,” “Park Güell,” and “ Sagrada Familia,” I said, “Uh-oh.” After a pause, sensing his life might become complicated from here, I added a promise. “One day, I’ll take you to Barcelona to see Gaudí’s work!”
Off the charts in every way, due to his advanced physical size, with academic abilities to match, most people expected far too much of him. No one can be gifted in all areas, and these “needs” aren’t always thought of as “special.” But his social, emotional, and fine motor skills and development couldn’t keep up with him. Too ahead of his time, throughout following years, Devin died at eighteen in February of 2022.
Vilomah is Sanskrit for bereaved parent, meaning “against the natural order.” Fate enrolled me into an unfortunate club with unwilling members. “You’ll have time” comforts from well-meaning loved ones also ended, as my only…
